That Fine Little Line

There's a fine little line betwixt and between
that moment of starting or keeping the future-
scary big and unforeseen

Many a time I dance that line
and race up the stairs to retreat into-
slumber.

For sanctuary I find
in comforters and pillows.

And then after I am well rested,
I wake up.
Decide I'm gonna do it anyway.


When I vault passed the line
anxiety or excitement

kicking dirt in fear's face,

I grow stronger.

It's not that I'm not,
I just forget sometimes.
My resilient, tenacious,
bright, bold, self.

Then fear chimes in
with the what if and what not,
and the shoulds and the shouldn't
and so on

And tell fear to fuck off.
I'm gonna do it anyway.

And then I do it;
growing stronger.

~A