Oh how I wish I could discern the six different meow sounds you make. If I had the luxury of 'extra' money, I would call upon the services of an animal psychic, only the best, to help us understand one anther better. Do you live here by choice, or are you just my long standing hostage? Why do you like Doritos and turn up your nose at real chicken? You steal our saltines when we are sick, right out of the sleeve, and crunch them leaving soggy crumbs on the carpet. Yet, when I go out of my way, and buy fancy feline pâté, you sniff it and try to bury it like your litter leavings.
You came to live with me years ago, after my Mom found you on a cold, rainy, dark night in a Post Office parking lot. I've often wondered how you came to be in that parking lot that evening.
Were you abandoned by the river near by, a popular dumping place for unwanted cats? Did you wander across the street from the apartment complex, and we just never saw Lost Cat signs? What was your original given name? Your ears do tend to perk up when I speak Spanish to you, and you did just try to eat some of my burrito five minutes ago. Quite aggressively, as you normally do, when you want my Mexican cuisine. Why do you always try to eat my spicier food? Did you not get the memo that you are a feline all the time?
You're fine being a cat when it comes to the inside/outside game. Though I am sorry that we moved to a new neighbor hood, with inner-city cats, and now you have to stay inside all the time. I know you are more depressed and bored, but I do prefer you uninjured and alive. And I know you like the feather toy a lot more than you let on. You come off all elitist, but I've seen that inner kitten sparkle in your eyes-- you're not fooling me.
I don't mind it when you climb on me when I'm trying to go to sleep. You are welcome to lay down and cuddle and snuggle and purr. BUT- your feet are jabbing me between the ribs and it HURTS! Sometimes I think you do this on purpose, and then get offended if I move your paw, and you run off the bed like I've offended your ancestors. You can be so dramatic.
It doesn't always have to be so awkward between us cat. I do try, and I love the furry stuffin out of ya. It's just that I don't think it's a good idea to let cats eat BBQ kettle chips all the time. And maybe once in a while, you could respond when I say, "Here kitty, kitty?" Humor me. I'm a mere silly human, apparently holding you hostage.
No comments:
Post a Comment